The 5 Stages of Grief… and How They Show Up in Everyday Life
- jacksola33
- Apr 21
- 3 min read
What if I told you you’re not just grieving when someone dies…
You’re grieving every time life doesn’t go the way you expected.
Every failed relationship.Every missed opportunity.Every version of yourself you had to let go of.
That’s grief.
And most people don’t even realize they’re going through it.
Grief Is Bigger Than Death
The concept of the five stages of grief was introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, and while it’s often associated with death and loss, the truth is—it applies to every major transition in life.
As a therapist, I see this play out daily in areas like:
Relationships and breakups
Marriage and family challenges
Career changes and financial stress
Spiritual confusion and identity shifts
Personal growth and self-development
Because every level of life requires you to lose something… in order to become something.
Stage 1: Denial – “This isn’t happening.”
Denial is often the first response to loss.
It protects you from being overwhelmed, but it also keeps you stuck if you stay there too long.
In everyday life, denial looks like:
Staying in a relationship you know is over
Ignoring your mental health
Acting like everything is fine when it’s not
Putting off difficult conversations
Denial delays healing because you can’t fix what you won’t face.
Stage 2: Anger – “Why is this happening to me?”
Anger is often misunderstood.
It’s not just yelling or aggression—it can show up as:
Irritation and frustration
Blaming others or yourself
Emotional distance
Resentment
At its core, anger is often pain that doesn’t know where to go.
When it isn’t processed, it gets projected—onto your partner, your children, your coworkers, and even your relationship with God.
Stage 3: Bargaining – “If I do this, maybe things will change.”
Bargaining is where people try to regain control.
It sounds like:
“If I try harder, maybe they’ll stay.”
“If I fix this, things will go back to normal.”
“If I change, maybe I won’t lose this.”
This stage often leads people back into unhealthy cycles:
Returning to toxic relationships
Overextending themselves to prove their worth
Making promises they can’t sustain
Bargaining is an attempt to control something that has already changed.
Stage 4: Depression – “It’s really over.”
This is where reality settles in.
Depression in grief can look like:
Emotional heaviness
Lack of motivation
Disconnection from others
Feeling tired or numb
This stage is uncomfortable—but necessary.
Too many people try to avoid it through distraction or avoidance, but healing requires you to sit with the truth of what has been lost.
You cannot skip grief. You have to go through it.
Stage 5: Acceptance – “I’m ready to move forward.”
Acceptance doesn’t mean you agree with what happened.
It means you understand it—and you’re ready to move forward.
This is where growth begins.
It’s where you start to say:
“That experience taught me something.”
“That season changed me.”
“That loss didn’t break me—it built me.”
Acceptance is not the end of the process—it’s the beginning of a new version of yourself.
Grief Is Not Linear
One of the most important things to understand is this:
You don’t move through these stages in a straight line.
You might feel acceptance one day and anger the next.You might go from denial back to bargaining.
That’s normal.
That’s human.
That’s part of the process.
You Might Not Be Broken—You Might Be Grieving
If you’ve been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of yourself…
You might not be broken.
You might just be grieving.
Grieving:
A relationship
A version of yourself
A season of life
Or an expectation that didn’t come to pass
And that matters.
How to Move Forward
Grief is not something you rush.
It’s something you process, understand, and grow through.
And sometimes, you don’t have to do that alone.
If you’re navigating grief—whether it’s from a relationship, life transition, or personal struggle—I provide online therapy for individuals and couples.
I work with clients across Iowa and Wisconsin and accept Blue Cross Blue Shield and United Healthcare.
👉 Visit: www.larrapy.com
👉 Or reach out directly to get started
And if this message resonated with you, share it with someone who may need it.
Blessings,Larry Jackson Jr., MSEd, LMHC, LPC
LARRAPY | 444 Therapy | 4ChristBrand
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